How Comparing Ourselves to Others Impacts Our Mental Health: Social Media Perceptions vs. Reality
In today’s world, it’s incredibly easy to fall into the habit of comparing ourselves to others. Whether it’s someone’s success, appearance, family life, or even how they spend their time, we often find ourselves measuring our own worth by what we see around us. And with social media being such a big part of daily life, those comparisons are now constant and often unfiltered.
why we compare ourselves
Comparison is part of being human. From an early age, we look around to understand how we’re doing. At school, in work, among friends or colleagues, we instinctively gauge ourselves against others. Sometimes this helps us reflect or grow, but often it leaves us feeling inadequate.
The trouble is that we rarely compare fairly. We tend to focus on what we think we lack. We overlook our strengths and achievements and assume everyone else has their sh*t together! This way of thinking can chip away at our confidence and lead to feelings of anxiety, low self-esteem, and even depression.
the role of social media
Social media adds another layer to all this. Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok are designed to show moments that look exciting, joyful, or successful. What we see is often a carefully edited version of someone’s life. The tough moments, the everyday struggles, the doubts and fears - those usually stay hidden.
When we compare our real life to someone else’s highlight reel, we can easily feel like we’re not measuring up. This creates pressure. We may start to question our own progress, our appearance, or our lifestyle. It’s a comparison that doesn’t reflect reality, and yet it can feel very real in the moment.
how therapy can help
Therapy provides a calm and supportive space to make sense of these feelings. You can talk openly about the comparisons you find yourself making, and begin to understand the thoughts and beliefs that lie beneath them.
understanding your patterns
Therapy can help you recognise when and why comparison shows up and how it affects the way you see yourself
o strengthening self-esteem
Working with a counsellor can support you in building a more balanced and compassionate view of yourself.
o managing social media in a healthier way
Together, we can explore what helps and what hinders your wellbeing online and consider gentle changes that make a difference.
o learning new coping strategies
Therapy can help you respond to comparison with more kindness, patience and confidence in your own path.
what constant comparison can do
Over time, repeated comparison can take a toll on mental health. Some of the more common effects include:
o lowered self-esteem
You may begin to feel that you’re not good enough, even when you are doing your best.
o increased anxiety and stress
Trying to keep up with what others seem to be achieving can feel overwhelming and relentless.
o feelings of depression or loneliness
It’s easy to feel disconnected or left behind when everyone else appears to be thriving.
o jealousy or resentment
Comparison can create tension in relationships, especially if we begin to envy others rather than connect with them.
moving away from comparison
While we may never fully escape the urge to compare, there are ways to reduce its impact and protect your mental wellbeing.
o focus on your own growth
Try setting personal goals that reflect what matters most to you. Notice and celebrate your own progress, however small it may seem.
o be mindful of social media
Take breaks when needed and try following accounts that leave you feeling supported rather than pressured.
o practice gratitude
Noticing what you already have - relationships, health, moments of calm - can help shift your perspective from what’s missing to what’s present.
o talk things through
Opening up to someone you trust, whether a friend, loved one or therapist, can bring a sense of connection and relief. You are not alone in feeling this way.
Counselling in Farnham | You’re Welcome Here
Comparison is part of life, but it doesn’t have to shape how you see yourself. In a culture where so much is filtered, edited and curated, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s real.
your path is your own, and it’s valid just as it is.
If you’re finding that comparison is leaving you feeling stuck or low, therapy can offer the support and space to reconnect with who you are - beyond what others are doing. You don’t have to measure your worth against anyone else’s.
you are enough as you are.
I provide a welcoming and judgment-free environment to support you in reconnecting with yourself and those around you. I work with clients throughout Farnham and nearby areas, offering both in-person and online sessions.